noonereadstheurl: I honestly can’t blame David Karp for wanting to sell this website You can only be called “daddy” by white middle-class teenaged girls so many times before something just snaps
leftforbed: leftforbed: mcsnuggie: true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn why would the movie eat my popcorn nevermind i get it
tea-tears-and-bbc: ballerina-austin: deductionswiththedoctor: So we started reading Romeo and Juliet in English class and i yelled out SPOILER: Romeo and Juliet die… and i shit you not at least 1/3 of the class got really pissed at me beacuse they didnt know thats how it ended IT TELLS YOU IN THE PROLOGUE CIVIL BLOOD MAKES CIVIL HANDS UNCLEAN WHAT DID YOU THINK THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT,...
starksexual: i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
dangstrider: PEOPLE WHO BUMP THE DESK WHILE YOU’RE DRAWING/WRITING
mytoecold: A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it. I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.” I wrote this: Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me. Love, Drew
meoplelikepeople: acrackinthetardis: nickgrimshade: do you ever remember that harry is only 18 years old and he’s been accused of sleeping with 410 women and breaking up 3 marriages and he can’t even get a tattoo without being surrounded by thousands of girls and he has no privacy and never actually gets to just be an 18 year old kid For a minute I thought you were talking about Harry...
overtheunderpass: “are you on your period” why yes, i am bleeding today would you like to join me
Everyone at my school's idea of a relationship: Someone asks someone "Will you go out with me?" and the other person says yes. They hug in the hallways, hold hands in the morning before the bell rings, and they kiss at lunch. They say "I love you" after two days. The whole school agrees that they are the cutest couple ever and hopes that they will last.
My idea of a relationship: You start talking to each other and is in the "talking stage". One person asks you to go a date with them. You guys go a few more dates. You guys are dating. You guys act like a couple. You hug, you hold hands, you kiss. One person asks you to be their boyfriend/girlfriend. You guys are now officially a couple. You're in one of those relationships where you don't announce it to the whole world but you won't deny it if someone asked. You guys are comfortable around each other, you hang out outside of school. You say "I love you" when the time is right and when you actually mean it. You have a threeway with Satan. You agree that all other mortals are no better than the mud caked to your collective shoes and sacrifice the whole of your school to the Dark Lord as per his request mid-coitus. You rule the charred and ruined remains of your homeland with an iron fist. Together
gaysexistheanswer: hungarian: someone in class asked me for my tumblr & i took her phone & told her i followed myself on her account but i actually followed gaysexistheanswer thank you
zeldalise: oh my god I just realized something okay so if yahoo is buying tumblr for about $1 billion and tumblr is estimated to have 50 billion posts then it means that every post is worth two cents I am actually giving you my two cents in every post
isaac-lahey: selfdoubtandsyphilis: dankestrnemes: do animals think in english or in the sounds they make this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for #are you surprised have you seen yahoo answers
friendlycloud: hitlervevo: why the fuck cant we text the police lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you Relevant